


Good, Giving, and Game

by ConceptaDecency



Series: Language Lessons [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Anal Sex, Arguing, Cardassian Culture, Dirty Talk, Kardasi, M/M, Universal Translator, Xenolinguistics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 03:54:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14035614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/pseuds/ConceptaDecency
Summary: Humans and Cardassians see a lot of things differently. But a good lover knows how to compromise. Set sometime in the first season.





	Good, Giving, and Game

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Dan Savage's sex advice column 'Savage Love'. He advises readers that they should be good in bed, giving of an equal amount of pleasure, and game for anything, within reason.
> 
> PrUt comes from tinsnip's Speculative Cardassian Reproductive Xenobiology: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1719479
> 
> All the other filthy, filthy Kardasi words are my own invention.

“Computer, Universal Translator on. Education mode.” The beep announced the translator was working, and Julian addressed his companion. “Garak, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the lesson, but I can’t put most of that in my report.”

They were lying naked on their sides in Garak’s bed, foreheads pressed together, in what Garak had told him was the traditional Cardassian post-coital ritual.

“I don’t understand why not. You’re a doctor. I’d have thought anatomical terms would be one of the first things Commander Sisko would want you to cover.”

After the incident with the Universal Translator, Sisko had instructed his senior staff to brush up on their language skills. He’d suggested Julian practice his Kardasi with Garak, given that they were friendly.

“Maybe. But the verbs are completely inappropriate. And the phrases! I can’t think of too many instances where ‘fuck me onto the mattress’ would be useful.” Julian said this last phrase in Kardasi, uncertain he’d got every word right. “At work,” he added.

“‘Fuck me into the mattress’,” Garak corrected. Julian repeated the phrase, and Garak caressed his cheek. “Very good, my dear! Your pronunciation is improving.”

“Well, I have a very encouraging teacher.” Julian returned the caress. “But seriously, Garak, those anatomical terms you taught me.” He squeezed Garak’s bottom. “ _Okad_.”

“ _Okadt_ ,” Garak corrected.

“ _Okadt_ ,” repeated Julian, receiving a kiss for his efforts this time. “What if I told a patient of mine they’d strained a muscle in their _okadt_?”

“They’d probably find you so charming that I would have reason to be jealous.”

Julian pulled his forehead away so he could look Garak in the eyes. “Aha, so it is vulgar!”

Garak gave the doctor an aggrieved look. “Not at all, Doctor. It’s...poetic. Archaic.” He gently guided the doctor’s head back so their foreheads touched again. “I can see I still have a lot to teach you about Cardassian culture. A well-bred Cardassian would never use vulgar language during sex with someone they respected.”

“Oh.” Julian blushed. “Well, it’s not the same for humans. We’re going to have to revisit some of the words I taught you.” He could feel Garak’s eye ridges rising against his forehead. “But I respect you, Garak! It’s just, I’m not even sure I know any poetic terms for most body parts!” He thought for a moment. “I can’t think of one for _okadt_.”

“‘Arse’ is vulgar, then?”

“A little. You could say bottom or bum, I suppose, but it’s so...unsexy. Childish, almost.”

“I can’t believe I’ve been sleeping with a man whose vocabulary is limited to vulgarity and baby talk.”

“Garak! It’s not just me! We don’t really use poetic words for body parts in Standard. Even Shakespeare used the word ‘prick’.”

“Meaning?”

“Penis. Cock. He used that one too.”

“So those words are vulgar as well?”

“Prick and cock, yes, a little. Penis is scientific.”

“Well, thank goodness you know a few scientific words for body parts, _Doctor_. And who is this Shakespeare, anyway?”

Julian was beginning to feel he was not presenting his culture in the best light. But he pressed on.

“He was one of Earth’s greatest poets and playwrights, actually.”

Garak pulled away and pushed himself up on his hands. He looked genuinely shocked.

“So even your greatest poet couldn’t come up with a decent term for _prUt_?”

“He may have. I’d have to check. We do have a few poetic words for it, I guess. Manhood. Phallus. But they just sound so silly! I honestly don’t know if I’d be able to finish if you talked to me like that in bed.”

“My dear, dear Doctor! You are very fortunate you have me to educate you. It’s a disgrace that a man of your intelligence and education should be limited to using such a barren language as Standard during such a meaningful act. Don’t you take sex seriously?”

“Now hold on a minute, Garak! I’m beginning to feel a little insulted.” Julian raised himself with his hands and sat up, legs crossed, blanket over his shoulders, so that Garak was no longer literally looking down on him. "I certainly do take sex seriously, but I don't need to use special language to prove it!”

“You’re insulted! My dear, if it were not for the fact that you are an alien I would be extremely offended that you spoke to me as if I were nothing but a cheap whore.”

Julian was honestly not sure if Garak was trying to start an argument as usual or was genuinely upset, his reaction seemed so over the top.

“Garak, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. And of course I don’t think of you as a cheap whore! But what’s with this ‘alien’ business, speaking of insulting, archaic words? You’re just as much an alien here as I am, if we’re going to use that word.” Starting to feel warm, he threw the blanket off. “And anyway, what about that phrase you taught me? ‘Fuck me into the mattress’? That sounds pretty vulgar to me.”

“Doctor, there is nothing vulgar about that phrase! It’s a perfectly beautiful and tender metaphor. Preloc herself used it.”

Now it was Julian’s turn to look surprised. “That’s not how it translated!”

Garak really did look pained now.

“Don’t tell me, Doctor. I don’t want to know.”

“It’s just, the verb ‘fuck’...it’s very vulgar, but we don’t really have a non-vulgar equivalent.”

“Surely you must!”

“I guess ‘make love’. But it’s not as...specific. ‘Make love to me into the mattress’ just sounds ridiculous.”

“Doctor, please. No more. We’ll just have to restrict our use of Standard to other activities. It’s far too distasteful for sex.” Garak lay back down and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. “I can teach you some more Kardasi tomorrow morning, if you’d care to stay the night. We can start with synonyms for ‘make love’.”

When Julian didn’t move to join him after a moment, Garak glanced back up. Julian had crossed his arms and his expression was stormy.

“Well, actually, _my dear_ , some of us like to be talked to like cheap whores in bed once in a while. When I thought I was asking you to fuck me into the mattress in Kardasi, it was one of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced.”

“You’re joking, Doctor. It’s completely inappropriate.”

“No, I am not. Honestly, it’s not even that vulgar.”

“Please, don’t say any more tonight. I don’t care to know the depravity your beautiful mind can reach. Or what else I’ve said to you that you’ve misinterpreted. If you’re staying, dear, get under the blanket.”

“Garak, there is nothing depraved about a little dirty talk. I’m happy to learn how to make love to you in Kardasi, but if we’re going to continue with...whatever this is, we’re going to have to compromise.” Julian was really annoyed now. His face was flushed.

Garak rolled back over and sat up so he was nose-to-nose with Julian. He sighed.

“Whatever you want, dear. But you are starting your education in Cardassian literature tomorrow. You wanton, dirty, manipulative little slut.” He reached around and pulled Julian’s head back by the hair, bringing his lips to Julian’s right ear. “You’d love it if I buried myself in your tight little hole again, wouldn’t you? You’re gagging for it.”

Julian gasped. He felt his cock begin to harden as the blood rushed into it.

“Computer, Universal Translator off!” Julian allowed Garak to push him down roughly onto his back and begin forcefully kissing his neck. “What am I?” he demanded in Kardasi.

Garak removed his mouth from the doctor’s neck. “You’re a wanton, dirty, manipulative little slut.” The rhythmic clicking and hissing of Kardasi in Garak’s voice, lowered half an octave and purred menacingly into his ear, brought another rush of warmth to his cock.

“I’m a wanton, dirty, manipulative little slut,” Julian repeated, between gasps, as Garak worked his way down to his shoulder, biting and kissing.

“No, _Doc-tor_.” Garak repeated the phrase again, giving Julian a reproachful nip with every word. Julian repeated. This was an improvement, apparently, because he was rewarded with a deep kiss on his mouth.

What followed was an extended vocabulary lesson. One or the other of them would place his hand, lips, or teeth on a body part, Garak would say the word in Kardasi, and Julian would repeat it until his pronunciation was good enough by Garak’s exacting standards. Then he’d be rewarded with a kiss or caress. Thus Julian learned the filthiest Kardasi words for cock, balls, arse, arsecrack, anus, neck ridges, and a plethora of ridges and scales all over Garak’s body and head that he’d had no idea were erogenous.

Finally Julian felt like every part of him and Garak had been explored. He was on his back, feet on Garak’s shoulders, and Garak was manipulating his anus - no, his _vrikar’l_ , his arsehole - with two lubricated fingers and murmuring in Kardasi. Julian wasn't sure what Garak was saying, but his tone was positively lecherous.

“Garak, make love to me into the mattress,” he gasped in Kardasi. He knew it wasn’t quite right, but it didn’t matter. Garak would get the idea.

Garak smirked. “No, _Doc-tor_.” His voice lowered again and he leaned forward. “I’m going to fuck you like a riding hound.” The verb was different and Julian didn’t understand much of what Garak had said, but he repeated it and was rewarded when one cool finger slipped in deeper and stroked his prostate. “Good, _Doc-tor_. Say it again.” Julian repeated the phrase. Another brush on his prostate left him gasping. He repeated the phrase again several times until Garak’s ‘rewards’ rendered him nearly unable to repeat anything else. He was trembling when Garak abruptly withdrew his fingers and leaned back so that Julian’s feet dropped from his wide shoulders onto the mattress. Garak deftly twisted the doctor’s hips, and Julian was now half flipped onto his belly. Julian understood immediately and completed the flip, and Garak guided the doctor’s hips up so he was on his hands and knees. He murmured again in Kardasi as he parted the doctor’s legs and pushed him down a little so his _vrikar’l_ was aligned with Garak’s engorged _sotl_. Needfully, Julian pressed himself backwards, but Garak only taunted him by rubbing the scaly, moistened tip of his _sotl_ up and down Julian’s crack.

“What do you want me to do now, you little strumpet?”

Most of the question was of course basic conversational Kardasi, and Julian could infer the rest from Garak’s teasing, lustful tone.

“Garak, please,” he said in Standard, forgetting himself.

“ _Doc-tor_. In Kardasi,” Garak insisted, swatting him lightly on the buttock and cruelly withdrawing the touch of his _sotl_.

“Yes, fuck me like a riding hound,” Julian repeated dutifully in Kardasi, wondering what exactly he was asking.

“Yessss,” said Garak in Standard, and slid into Julian, hands gripping Julian’s hips roughly. Garak’s cock ridges - _jorak ed’kap_ , Julian remembered - rubbed his insides and Julian moaned and clenched the sheet with one hand. “You little slut,” Garak growled in Kardasi, and began to rock back and forth slowly. “You like thiss, _Doc-tor_ ,” he said in his imperfect, sibilant, lightly accented Standard.

Julian didn’t bother to consider that it was unfair that Garak was allowed to speak Standard when he wasn’t. Instead he rocked his hips along with Garak’s strokes, trying to drive Garak’s _sotl_ in even deeper. “Yes, Garak, yes, harder, fast...faster,” he replied in Kardasi, words partly muffled by the pillow he’d grabbed and buried his face in.

Garak obliged, rewarding Julian with steady, quickening thrusts. Then he leaned forward, grinding himself in further, and reached around to manipulate Julian’s own hard _sotl_ with his firm, steady hand pressure. The combination of inner and outer stimulation was overwhelming, and soon Julian was calling for his god in Standard, completely forgetting himself as he bucked his hips and groaned, losing himself in release until Garak’s hand and the sheet below were spattered with semen.

As soon as Julian was spent, Garak redirected his slick, soiled hand back to Julian’s haunch. He only had to thrust a few more times before his grip tightened and he too was shouting and moaning in release. Julian had come back to himself enough to note that Garak was unusually loud, for Garak, and idly wondered if Cardassians considered vocalising during climax vulgar, too.

Normally Garak was his fastidious self afterwards, cleaning himself and Julian with one of the soft, absorbent cloths he kept near the bed for just this purpose. But this time, perhaps in keeping with the theme of ‘the doctor is a dirty cock-magnet’, after sliding out of Julian he simply gathered him in his arms and pulled him down to lie on the bed. Julian rolled over so that they were again on their sides, foreheads pressed, legs entangled. Garak pulled the blanket up over them, not caring if it touched the cooling, drying bodily fluids on his hands and all over their bodies.

They lay together for a while, enjoying each other’s breathing. Julian’s mind drifted as Garak murmured sweet-sounding things in Kardasi. Then he remembered the questions he had.

“Computer, activate Universal Translator, education mode.”

Garak stopped speaking as the translator beeped on.

“‘Fuck me like a riding hound’,” Julian mused in Kardasi, listening to the simultaneous translation of the education mode to find out what Garak had had him saying. He laughed.

“Again, Doctor? You’re insatiable,” Garak teased.

“And you’re depraved. Garak, do Cardassians usually argue like we did after, ehm, making love?” The Standard phrase sounded a bit prissy on his lips, but he was willing to try for Garak’s sake.

“No, that’s reserved for foreplay. Well-bred people don’t argue afterwards, but the slutty village cum-receptacle might, if he were unsatisfied with one round of love-making in a night.” He squeezed Julian’s side affectionately.

Julian decided not to point out just at that moment that it took two to tango, nor that it took one to know one. Instead he laughed again.

“‘Slutty village cum-receptacle’. That one’s not going into my report either. But maybe you can teach me to say it in Kardasi next time.”

“Dear, next time you will be learning some more appropriate language.”

“Fair enough. But I do need to practice what I’ve learned today. Soon.”

“We’ll make certain of it.”

Julian pecked Garak on the lips.

“So, what do well-bred Cardassians do after making love?” He used the polite Kardasi verb this time.

“There are centuries of post-coital poetry that any thoughtful lover is thoroughly versed in. But as you don’t know any, we can have another argument.”

Julian pushed him playfully.

“I’m not that big a whore. Shut up and teach me some Cardassian poetry.”

“Computer, Universal Translator off,” said Garak. 

**Author's Note:**

> Julian's a doctor, not a linguist. Maybe Federation Standard has some good words for sexy bits that might meet Garak's standards, but it's hard to come up with them in heat of the moment, even for him.


End file.
